I’ve been starting to realize that I’m just hanging on by a thread. I have less than 5 years until I can finally retire. If you’re a teacher, you KNOW what I’m talking about. The phrase that comes to mind is, “If I can just make it until…” and then you fill in the blank. Is it, “…Friday,” “…Christmas Vacation,” or some other time in the future? How sad that as teachers we wish our time away–we wish our LIVES away. I find myself doing this more now that I’m this close to leaving.

It’s upsetting to see how little we have left for ourselves and our families when we get home from work. I don’t like it to be this way, but something has to give so I can keep my eye on the goal and set my family up for a prosperous future. Absolute decision fatigue. Absolute compassion fatigue. It bothers me that as educators we have allowed ourselves to give our all to others but not to our loved ones, and certainly not to OURSELVES. How is this acceptable? It’s not. The job of teaching is exhausting. We’ve been brainwashed to believe that we have to be martyrs. We’re not good teachers if we don’t give our all to our students and their parents. We get volun-told to take on more responsibilities as the students and parents take on less and less responsibilities year after year. The minutiae of everyday tasks has to be documented to demonstrate proof of your work ethic. It’s more like documentation to cover your ass when parents or students lie. It also gets used as “artifacts” when you get evaluated every year. How stupid!

Don’t get me wrong. I love teaching. The issue I have is how they try to brainwash you to accept less pay than other similarly educated professionals with the same years experience in other careers. Sorry, not sorry. I may do it for the kids, but they aren’t the ones that pay to keep my family fed and the lights on. Plus, I don’t work for FREE. Time is money and if I wasn’t paid, I definitely wouldn’t be there. I equate the relationship to that of an abused person and their abuser. I keep coming back for more. When I’ve had enough and want to leave for good, I keep thinking of my future retirement amount and my family. They know they have you right where they want you. I refuse to let them frustrate me and “force” me to leave early—forfeiting my full retirement pay and benefits.

I say we can handle this frustration and do what’s right by us and our families. Stay the course and don’t let anyone force you out before your time. I’m sending positive vibes and prayers to all the teachers out there who are hanging on by a thread.